well... this is a first... i did write a long post this time... and before i could finish spell checking it all the text vanished...
i didn't even post it this time...
if this stuff keeps on happening i might have to move away from Vox and go back to melodramatic.com... but... i really like it here better...
i like that there are older people here mixed in with older... that was the problem at melodramatic... everyone was very young... same with myspace and same with live journal...
vox is great... because... i don't know... i don't feel like a big dork for having a blog as much as i did on the other sites...
so... in my post that mysteriously disappeared i wrote about how happy i at my new house... the girls that live here are really sweet and now everyone affectionately calls me Kiwi (it's a new nickname for me)... i love it here... i finally feel at home...
i also wrote that I'm starting to feel bitter about Black Elk... i feel i need to make excuses to go visit.... it mostly in my head but i just don't feel as welcomed as i would like...
but like i said... i know it's all in my head... i know that they still love me... just everyone is really busy....
i actually have been hanging out a lot with Carolyn... which is new to me... she lives right around the corner form me so me visit each other regularly... she such a wonderful girl... it's funny because about a week ago i felt very differently... i felt that she was very negative to me... but now i see it that she jokes with me because she can... that's what friends do... it's harmless fun...
what else did i write?
maybe i need to type my text in Word before i put it here so it doesn't get deleted before or after i post it...
k
love
Kiwi
life is really good at the new house...
I'm loving the people at the new house... they all call me Kiwi (Kiwi is a new nickname for me) affectionately... i think I'm at the new stage at nicknames... for now on I'm going to introduce myself as Kiwi... the story how i got the name is kind of lame so i think i might have to make a new story for the name (eh... why not?)...
i love the girls here... at first i wasn't used to everyone's gleeness... but now it's warming up to me... these last few days have been great for improving my moodness... there is always a friendly ear to talk to...
my heart will always be with Black Elk... but they are not as excited to see me these days... and it kind of sucks because i find that i have to make exuses (like to see if i have mail) to go visit...
i hope it's not always like this... maybe i need to visit less so my appearace is more appreciated... ha... that kind of sounds patitic but i crave Black ELk people's attention... of all people, Alex seems to be the only one happy for my returns...
as always... most of this stuff is in my head... i think too much about stuff that doesn't matter...
i need to think about getting myself out of debt... i need to think about getting back into massage school... i need to think about quitting smoking... i need to think more about my family and their problems...
i need to stop thinking about being accepted socially... i need to stop thinking about getting a girlfriend... i need to stop thinking about how loenly i can be...
but right now i feel really good... i feel that now will be an excellent time to start to make the important changes...
something in the air tells me good things are about to happen...
but... first i need to do my laundry because all i smell is a smelly Kiwi...
k
love
Kiwi
